I actually was in a very abusive relationship. I think, I think at the time, I wasn't aware of how bad it was. You know? It just, I was young. It was kind of that, oh, I want to nurture somebody who didn't receive the nurturing the way I was nurtured. Kind of like the mother figure. And so I then got super invested into this relationship that was really, really bad. And obviously I came from a totally different background than this person. And so I was being exposed to things that I had never been exposed to. You know, deep, deep poverty. Extremely deep poverty. You know, having to go day by day, figure out where you going to stay, what are you going to eat, that type of lifestyle. And so I got very indulged in it just because I now I felt obligated, now I felt responsible.

And so, sure enough, shortly, shortly after the relationship began, it became very, very abusive. And so whenever I would try to leave, I was threatened. There was a lot of times where, you know, I would fear for my life. And I remember - I was still living with my parents at the time - and I remember I would make up like this fake curfew to indicate like, hey, I got to get away, you know? So I would, I would always tell him, like, hey, I have to be home. That way I could just secure my life for that night. Like, just so that I can be sure that I made it home that night.

And it went on for, for several, like, for a while. Well, then I end up getting pregnant with my first daughter. And three weeks before I had her, he got incarcerated for, for murder. And in February of 2015, he was released to await trial. And three months later, I found out that I was having another baby. The same time I walked out of the the, murder trial. And so from that moment, I told myself, you know, this is it. I remember having a conversation with my mom and telling her, like, I really messed up, but I need your help, because this time, I'm. I'm going to be successful