We had some training, some really, really good training. Karen Purvis, really, really brilliant psychologist, child psychologist who worked with, there's a huge foster home facility in Waco that she worked really closely with. Did a lot of her research there. Man, really changed my perspective on parenting.

Like, for instance, you know, the idea of, like, coddling, right? Like, I was, I was brought up to think that you got to be a little bit hard on your kids. If you, ff you coddle them too much, like, if you're too lovey-dovey with them or whatever, it makes them weak or whatever. I don't know exactly what. But Karen Purvis taught me essentially the opposite. She taught me that, when my kid feels very secure in our relationship, when he knows as a very young child that I'm going to be there to catch him when he falls, and I'm going to meet his emotional needs, I'm going to meet his physical needs, I'm not going to shame him, make him feel abandoned. Then I build a sense of security in him, which is the very thing that enables him to go out in the world and feel that sense of security and operate on his own. Right? You're building a psychology in this kid that, that feel- knows deep down that everything's going to be okay. And then is going to go into the world and is going to be able to operate on his own. And is going to be able to form deep relationships and connections with people. And, and have really healthy relationships. Right? And not, not codependent, not, you know, all these other things that we, that we end up being. Right?

And it's like this very logical thing when you think about it. Right? Like, oh yeah, of course that's what's going on. Yeah, sure. That makes perfect sense. I'm building a sense of security in him that enables him to go out. But it's one of those things until you, until you know it. Right?

Which is not to say I'm like a world class, amazing parent. But, you know, I mean, I tell you what, it's, it's really liberating as a parent, too. Like, when you have a kid, you want to just love on him all the time. Like, you want to just hug on him and kiss him and tell you, tell him how much you love him all the time. And there was something that was a part of me before that was telling me I shouldn't do that, right? And it was so liberating to learn I can do that as much as I want to. And in fact, it's great. It's great for him. Yeah, I remember that being one of the most liberating things to learn as a parent of, like, you can't love your kids too much.