I was always like a very, like, neurotic child. Like I was scared of, like, everything when I was little. And, and then my grandpa passed away in, when I was in fifth grade. Very, like, unexpectedly, like one day to the, like one day I saw him, and then the next day he had passed away. And, I think that, like, when that happened, it became more of like a death anxiety.

Like, I worry all the time that, like, I'm going to wake up and somebody is going to be dead. Or, you know. And then I had my kids. I had my daughter when I was 18. I had my son when I was 21. And after I had my son, I had, postpartum psychosis for a little bit. Because I was just so worried that, like, I would have these, like, horrible, like, daydreams, like thinking like, like, you know, if we were in the parking lot of, like, HEB, I would be thinking like, oh, my God, somebody could just, like, run him over right now. Or, you know, we were at the zoo, or not the zoom, I’m sorry, the aquarium. And we were like looking over the tank and it would be like, oh my God, he could fall in and he would just drown and die, you know? Like it was just constantly like, I couldn't get through the day without, like, freaking out.

Like, I used to not be able to sleep. And they would sleep in, in bed with me, and I just couldn't sleep. Like, if for a split second it sounded like one of them wasn't breathing. Oh, my God, that was it. I wasn't sleeping, I was just going to be up, like, watching them all night.

So I had to go and be treated for that. And it's, it's better now, but it's not like dealt with, you know what I mean? Like, it's a, it's a constant worry that I have.